Country music in 2014 saw some highs and lows. Here at Country Perspective we recognize the best of both. Today we focus on the later. What was the worst country album in 2014? Well there was a lot of bad country albums put out this year. Jerrod Niemann’s High Noon was the early favorite in 2014. After all it included auto-tune and electronic beats. It didn’t sound like country music at all. He then remixed “Drink to That All Night” with Pitbull. That wasn’t even the worst of the album. The worst was “Donkey,” one of the worst songs I have ever heard.
Surely nothing could top this pile of crap, right? Wrong! Along came Chase Rice’s Ignite The Night. Other than one giant outlier at the end of the album in “Jack Daniels and Jesus,” this album was straight garbage. I think my asshole could write and sing better music than the rest of Ignite the Night. The amount of auto-tune and EDM incorporated is so gut-wrenchingly bad I’m surprised Waylon Jennings didn’t come back from the dead to just slap Rice in the face.
Yet as terrible as this album was another album went even lower than Rice’s. No it isn’t Sam Hunt’s Montevallo either. It’s a straight pop album, yet Hunt did enough to not garner a 0 in Derek’s eyes or my eyes (shockingly I might add). There was one album that did earn a 0 overall and to this day it’s the only album to receive a 0 on Country Perspective. After listening to this album, I thought…. wait words can’t describe it. I’m going to need some help here. Jeff could you assist me here? Here were my thoughts after listening to this album:
Thanks Jeff! Keep up the fine work. What album am I referring to? The winner of Country Perspective’s Worst Country Album of 2014 Award is…
Derek and myself chose this album to win because quite frankly it’s offensive in every single way a country album can be offensive. Other than “Dirt,” every song on this album sucks. The songs don’t sound country at all and sound more suitable for a pop album. The lyrics are so horrendously offensive to intelligence that I felt like I lost a few IQ points after listening to Anything Goes. Their worst song, “Sun Daze,” was nominated for our worst song of the year award and is quite a strong contender. The thing is we could have chosen another song easily and it would still be a top contender to win. When the lyrics weren’t sexist and misogynistic, they were just outright cheesy and cliché. Take for example “Angel.” They use the cheesiest pickup line ever as the chorus. So hilariously dumb! And I don’t know how many alcohol brands are name-dropped.
You know what else is terrible about this album? How everyone at the mainstream country outlets and people in the mainstream industry just accept this as an “evolution” of country music. They’re missing a letter. Devolution is the proper word. How in any way, shape or form is this helping the genre? It’s just maintaining the status quo of country music being a laughing-stock to anyone outside of the genre. I don’t know how many people laugh off and dismiss country music because of asshats like Florida Georgia Line putting out terrible music. Casual observers judge country music based on what they hear on the radio and what they hear on radio is garbage.
Mainstream country music appears to be improving for the most part. That’s a good sign. There are still a lot of problems though and Florida Georgia Line represents one of the biggest. Bro country is slowly dying, but I guarantee Florida Georgia Line and other bro country artists will fight to the bitter end to keep it alive. In the end though it is a fruitless endeavor. Bro country will be gone in 2015 and so might Florida Georgia Line’s stardom.
So stand up with me and boo Florida Georgia Line’s album Anything Goes. This is a historically bad country album that may never be topped by another album in horribleness ever again.