How am I supposed to take this song seriously? I heard about new country artist Michael Ray a couple of weeks back and apparently he’s supposed to be the next big thing according to his label Warner Music Nashville. I passed it off as just hype on social media. Then I noticed he was in the top 60 of the Billboard Country Airplay chart. Now I’m starting to get a little concerned. What drove me to review this song was when I saw this tweet from Windmills Country. “Kiss You In The Morning” is the next song in line to get the On The Verge pick push. You know the same one that helped propel Sam Hunt to his current standing. The same Verge that pushed Chase Bryant onto the chart (this one didn’t turn out as well as Hunt). So now I gotta talk about Michael Ray and his debut single because it’s inevitable it will go up on the Country Airplay chart.
First let’s just talk about the album cover. Look at him. He looks like he’s fresh from the former worst show on television Jersey Shore. Ray has perfectly coifed hair and a nice tan, with a simple t-shirt look. He’s a record label and teenagers’ wet dream because for some reason all country stars nowadays have to be pretty and have sex appeal. As Windmills Country says, he’s hunky and funky! So you have to like him! That’s the logic label executives are using. But what about the music? Well there’s a reason why they’re emphasizing his hunky attributes over his music.
“Kiss You In The Morning” is a giant pile of steaming garbage. There is nothing redeeming about this song. Where do I begin with this mess? Let’s start with the bro-country lyrics. Here are the opening lines of the song:
Them jeans are faded
In all the right places
You got me hanging on tight to your curves like little E races
Girl your funky little back beat has got me
Feel like I’m tipsy
And I ain’t even had a drink
I thought this bullshit was going away? I just can’t. I can’t deal with these lyrics anymore. They promised it was going away! This shit is old and no one is amused anymore. Bro country is like a damn cockroach. You think you’ve killed it but this bug continues to slither along. The chorus for this song is even worse. Wanna take a guess what the main theme is? If your answer is kissing, you’re correct. It doesn’t exactly take a Rhodes scholar to figure it out. But it’s not just kissing! It’s about kissing all over the place. From the moonlight to a red light to neon light to the morning, there’s kissing. How creative! Even Richard Dawson thinks this is overkill in the kissing department.
You know what’s sad though? Those aren’t even the worst parts of the song. No, the worst part and also most laughable comes after the first chorus. It’s when Ray utters the line: “Oh you little outlaw.” Hahahahahaha! Wait I’m not done yet. Hahahaha! Even Eric Church is rolling his eyes at this reference. I think this song is going for every ridiculous cliché that has been put in a country song in the last five years. To top it all off it just has your standard, generic beat you’ve heard in every bro country song. I mean why not go for some EDM infusion too? Try to check off everything on the shit list and make one of the worst songs ever.
What else is there to say about “Kiss You In The Morning”? This song flat-out sucks in every single way. There is no point in having yet another bro country song about kissing. This is another perfect example of Nashville trying to shove shit down the country music consumers throat and tell them it’s candy. I hope country music listeners have learned their lesson and just ignore this terrible song. Some people in country music are trying to make strides and this song hurts those strides. “Kiss You In The Morning” will go down as one of the worst country songs of 2015 and will be a strong contender for Country Perspective’s Worst Song of 2015 award. Avoid this song at all costs.