Country Perspective’s Worst Country Songs of 2015 So Far

Yesterday we took a look at the very best country songs that have been released in 2015. Today we take a look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Yes, the very worst country songs of 2015 so far. As much great country music that’s been released, we’ve also had a lot of bad “country” music. There is already more 0/10 reviews this year than all of last year. Why did these songs make the Zero Club? Well there are many reasons, but they get a zero grade because they just aren’t country songs or there is no creative whatsoever put into them. So now let’s take a look back at the absolute worst of the worst offered from country music in 2015 so far. (Click on the song titles for the full review)

Luke Bryan – “Kick The Dust Up”

This isn’t as bad as “That’s My Kind of Night,” but I don’t think even this trio of writers could pen such a terrible song that could top it. “Kick The Dust Up” is still a horrendous song that only contributes more to the gaping black-hole of creativity on country radio right now. Bryan is still churning out the same exact music he was putting out in 2013. In two years time he hasn’t changed a thing. Why? He hasn’t changed because he knows the mainstream country music fans will gobble this turd up just like the previous ones. We can blame these assholes making bro country all we want, but if fans out there keep accepting this kind of trash as music then they’re just as much to blame for country music’s problems too. So if you want to help country music: avoid this song at all cost and go listen to quality country music. Support the artists that deserve it. You can make a difference. “Kick The Dust Up” is just another black eye on the face of country music.

Old Dominion – “Break Up With Him”

Country music has gotten enough terrible music from all of the bro country artists invading the genre and now Sam Hunt is leading in a wave of spoken word pop music that is even worse. This is my first impression of Old Dominion and it isn’t a good one. Releasing a single like this early in your career shows me a lot of what you’re trying to accomplish as artists. It shows that you only care about popularity and quality is the last thing on your mind. “Break Up With Him” takes the worst elements of Hunt’s “Take Your Time” and the worst elements of Tyler Farr’s “Redneck Crazy” to make one of the most irritable country songs of 2015. I listened to this a few times and started to develop a light headache. That tells you what you need to know about “Break Up With Him.” 

Michael Ray – “Kiss You In The Morning”

This song flat-out sucks in every single way. There is no point in having yet another bro country song about kissing. This is another perfect example of Nashville trying to shove shit down the country music consumers throat and tell them it’s candy. I hope country music listeners have learned their lesson and just ignore this terrible song. Some people in country music are trying to make strides and this song hurts those strides. “Kiss You In The Morning” will go down as one of the worst country songs of 2015 and will be a strong contender for Country Perspective’s Worst Song of 2015 award.

RaeLynn – “For A Boy”

I just don’t understand why she continues to get pushed as an artist. It all started with Blake Shelton on The Voice and now Big Machine is pushing her. I just don’t see any talent in any area of her performances. The lyrics are weak, the instrumentation is weak and her voice is weak. I hate to say it, but it seems the only reason Big Machine even signed her is because of her looks and her willingness to sing any sexist, bubblegum pop country song they throw her way. Every time RaeLynn releases a new song I hope she proves me wrong, but she just doesn’t. “For A Boy” is simply another terrible song from RaeLynn and like every other RaeLynn song we’ve reviewed on here, I recommend avoiding it.

Eli Young Band – “Turn It On”

This uncreative garbage is getting pretty old. Then again I’m not surprised either. With the success of Sam Hunt, all of the other trend-chasing artists in the genre are going to try to follow suit in the way Hunt’s music is styled. Eli Young Band shows with this song they don’t give a crap about quality. It’s all about the money for them and they’ll churn out whatever they have to for radio success. You know why people hate sellouts? They hate sellouts because it’s easy. Making generic radio hits is easy to pull off. Making great music is difficult. It’s a true art form where you put your heart and soul into it. “Turn It On” is the opposite of heart and soul. It’s corporate, lifeless radio filler.

Cole Swindell – “Let Me See Ya Girl”

“Let Me See Ya Girl” is another boring and bland bro country song that the world didn’t need to hear. Swindell continues to be the most generic “country” singer I’ve ever heard. I’m so used to this terrible music that I can’t even get that angry anymore. I spend more time yawning and laughing. By the way the funniest part of the song is when Swindell utters in the bridge, “bring the beat back.” I can just picture Swindell wearing his baseball cap backwards and trying so hard to sound cool and sexy saying it. But Swindell can never be cool or sexy. He’s a merchandise peddler pretending to be a country artist. Avoid “Let Me See Ya Girl” at all costs. In fact avoid Swindell’s music at all costs.

Chris Janson – “Buy Me A Boat”

Chris Janson without a doubt has a hit on his hands and it should do really nice on country radio throughout the summer. It appeals to the lowest common denomination of intelligence when it comes to listeners. Throw in the whole underdog story being pushed about Janson, his hunky look and he’s the perfect image of what labels want. Warner Nashville swooping him up was one of the most unsurprising news stories in country music this year. For the rest of us, “Buy Me A Boat” is a huge insult to our intelligence. It’s nothing more than a corporate jingle with laundry list lyrics. I definitely recommend avoiding this song. Janson may be pulling the wool over the mainstream country fans’ faces, but he isn’t fooling me. “Buy Me A Boat” is a long-plotted monstrosity wrote specifically to pander to country radio.

Thomas Rhett – “Crash and Burn”

The cold, hard truth with “Crash and Burn” is this is just another attempt by country to hawk sounds from other genres in a desperate attempt to win back the temporary cross-over popularity it had with bro country. Don’t give me this crap about country music evolving. Changing the genre sound completely to the point where you can’t tell it’s country music anymore is not evolution. Artists like Rhett say it’s evolution because it’s the laziest and most brainless excuse you can trot out. Their fans and the corporate country outlets eat it right up too. When it comes down to it “Crash and Burn” is a song in the wrong genre performed by the wrong artist. Many will applaud this song for being different, but I jeer it for the poor excuse it is to make pop music and label it country. You should do the same too.

Kelsea Ballerini – “Love Me Like You Mean It”

You know what these lyrics make me picture in my head? I imagine I’m in a bar and Chase Rice is sitting at the counter. Or Cole Swindell. Pick any bro-country artist you want. So they’re sitting there at the bar and Ballerini walks up to them uttering these lyrics. Then Rice flashes a douchey smirk at her and makes a condescending, sexist remark. Ballerini eats this up most likely. I’m sitting in the background rolling my eyes so hard they’re about to fall out. That’s the mental image I get when I hear these lyrics. This is not a good thing.

Keith Urban – “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16”

Keith Urban is capable of producing much better music than “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16.” Urban’s laziness and chasing of the almighty dollar is quite evident here. Urban knows exactly what he’s doing. This is a song from an artist that praises Sturgill Simpson and wore his shirt on national television. Simpson wouldn’t be caught dead cutting a song like this one. I thought Urban would be inspired by a truly talented artist like Simpson, but it’s apparent that Urban is only interested in listening to others make quality music and not try to do this himself. “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16″ is absolute garbage and I highly recommend avoiding it. This is one of the worst songs I’ve heard in country music in 2015.

Hunter Hayes – “21”

The Dishonorable Mentions

 

18 thoughts on “Country Perspective’s Worst Country Songs of 2015 So Far

  1. RG June 19, 2015 / 2:01 pm

    Good list! Tyler Farr’s new crap, “Withdrawals”, should be on the list by the end of the year. Trig over at SCM wrote a hilarious review on this today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Noah Eaton June 20, 2015 / 1:54 am

      The video is what has made this unlistenable to my ears.

      However, the song on its own is nothing particularly bad. Nothing good either, mind you, but it’s really just par for the course as far as break-up songs or coping with break-up songs are concerned (which are inundating radio regardless of format as of late) and it’s also par for the course as far as country acts ripping off late 90’s to early 00’s Alternative and Active Rock is concerned. It would be a 5/10 to my ears.

      But yeah, the video is atrocious and it has rendered the single release unlistenable to my ears now.

      Like

  2. southtexaspistolero June 19, 2015 / 3:54 pm

    That list about covers it.

    Like I said elsewhere about the Eli Young Band song, “‘Turn It On’? More like ‘turn it off and go listen to the original version of “When It Rains.”‘”

    I think the Keith Urban monstrosity’s the worst, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • RG June 19, 2015 / 3:57 pm

      Agreed! Keith Urban’s in the John song is el horrible.

      Like

    • brettp June 19, 2015 / 4:16 pm

      Agreed, what happened to the Eli Young Band? They used to be pretty good.

      Like

      • southtexaspistolero June 19, 2015 / 4:24 pm

        what happened to the Eli Young Band?

        F$ck if I know. I really liked them when they first came out.

        Like

  3. Raymond June 19, 2015 / 3:56 pm

    Besides Kelsea 10/10 btw (she is pop-country and I will argue anyone to the ground). Also Nothing Like You and Lose My Mind have something I like that I cant explain. Some of those songs have some country like the ones above or Canaan

    Like

  4. brettp June 19, 2015 / 4:11 pm

    Well i usually say great article but i guess we can all agree that these do all suck for sure. I do usually try to find some good however. Im a novice no doubt on country radio and personalities and despite the nauseating bobby bones aspect, this Chris Janson i believe does have the most potential of all these. Buy a Boat is very unfortunate, but i be danged if it aint catchy. Heres hoping some of these young talents redeem themselves down the road, but i doubt it.ha

    Like

  5. Lorenzo June 19, 2015 / 6:15 pm

    I don’t think Keith Urban’s song is that terrible. musically it is not different than other Keith’s singles. its lyrics try to pay homage to the narrator’s life with a checklist, which is pretty bad but surely not offensive. i’d give this a 3/10.

    Like

  6. Zack June 19, 2015 / 9:11 pm

    What a list! Ugh….it’s sad that the lists have gotten to be so long. Hell, I like “Donkey” better than some of these 😦

    Here’s my list:

    1. Hayley Georgia- “Ridiculous”
    2. Bret Michaels- “Girls On Bars”
    3. Jake Owen- “Real Life”
    4. Sam Hunt- “House Party”
    5. Thomas Rhett- “Crash & Burn”
    6. Luke Bryan- “Kick The Dust Up”
    7. David Fanning- “Doin’ Country Right”
    8. Keith Urban- “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16”
    9. Cole Swindell- “Let Me See Ya Girl”
    10. Eric Church- “Like A Wrecking Ball”
    11. Eli Young Band- “Turn It On”
    12. Raelynn- “For A Boy”
    13. Michael Ray- “Kiss You In The Morning”
    14. Brett Eldredge- “Lose My Mind”
    15. Chris Janson- “Buy Me A Boat”

    And some equally bad album cuts…..

    Love & Theft- “Tanlines” (from “Whiskey On My Breath”)
    Tyler Farr- “C.O.U.N.T.R.Y” (from “Suffer In Peace”)
    Billy Currington- “Soundtrack” (from “Summer Forever”)
    Gloriana- “It’s On Tonight” (from “Three”)
    Montgomery Gentry- “Back On A Dirt Road” (from “Folks Like Us”)

    Btw, every song here is a 0/10 for me personally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Raymond June 19, 2015 / 9:50 pm

      You forgot the equally awful album cut. Are You Ready from Gloriana Three. Just an awful album.

      Like

      • Noah Eaton June 20, 2015 / 1:50 am

        Bet that crushed your heart hearing, considering all the time you boasted about Gloriana prior to the release of “Three”, didn’t it? =P

        Like

  7. Noah Eaton June 20, 2015 / 1:48 am

    Wow, you sure let Haley Georgia, Bret Michaels and David Fanning off easy here! 😉 😉 😉

    *

    Nah, I’m mostly kidding! Mostly! Because we all know neither of these three “artists” and their latest efforts will become hits! 😉

    *

    Anyway, among singles that have ACTUALLY gotten at least moderate amounts of airplay, the one that pisses me off the most is Thomas Rhett’s “Crash & Burn”.

    Why? Because not only does it epitomize the absolute worst of the monogenre trend ravaging the mainstream country genre so far like some of his dishonorable chart rivals do as well……………………but he one-ups them by blatantly plagiarizing the rhythm and cadence from Sam Cooke’s song “Chain Gang” WITHOUT crediting him.

    It is our responsibility to clamp down on blatant plagiarism regardless of genre and profession, and the fact this monstrosity is getting away with becoming a huge hit only further enrages me. Even Sam Hunt and Luke Bryan haven’t dared this…………………..at least yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Raymond July 4, 2015 / 4:45 pm

    Ok correct me if I am wrong but… I am assuming you guys both want Raelynn to stop making music in a whole. My impression is that u guys think she can’t sing at all while the other worst of the year can.

    Like

  9. dave August 16, 2015 / 2:07 pm

    A lot of the songs are the exact same music structure. You can switch song lyrics and they’ll fit.

    Like

  10. deb enck October 13, 2015 / 9:40 pm

    Lord help me I’ve only started listening to this crap in the past 3 months. My dad is ill and he likes the radio and the “country” station is the only thing that comes in his room..I swear before all that is good in this world I’m so sick of hearing about women in faded jeans, bare feet, dancing in truck beds, drinking “clear”, and apparently living only to service these a-hole redneck jerks..There are a few decent songs out there but they get little airplay. I actually cried when I heard the song about a woman being this singer’s “best friend” and how much he has lost now that she is leaving his life..It’s pretty, heartfelt and I’ve only heard it twice…

    Like

    • Josh Schott October 13, 2015 / 10:33 pm

      I’m sorry to hear about your dad becoming ill. And also having to listen to so much bad music. Stick around here and I assure you we will introduce you to some authentic country music.

      Like

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