Yesterday we took a look at the very best country songs that have been released in 2015. Today we take a look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Yes, the very worst country songs of 2015 so far. As much great country music that’s been released, we’ve also had a lot of bad “country” music. There is already more 0/10 reviews this year than all of last year. Why did these songs make the Zero Club? Well there are many reasons, but they get a zero grade because they just aren’t country songs or there is no creative whatsoever put into them. So now let’s take a look back at the absolute worst of the worst offered from country music in 2015 so far. (Click on the song titles for the full review)
This isn’t as bad as “That’s My Kind of Night,” but I don’t think even this trio of writers could pen such a terrible song that could top it. “Kick The Dust Up” is still a horrendous song that only contributes more to the gaping black-hole of creativity on country radio right now. Bryan is still churning out the same exact music he was putting out in 2013. In two years time he hasn’t changed a thing. Why? He hasn’t changed because he knows the mainstream country music fans will gobble this turd up just like the previous ones. We can blame these assholes making bro country all we want, but if fans out there keep accepting this kind of trash as music then they’re just as much to blame for country music’s problems too. So if you want to help country music: avoid this song at all cost and go listen to quality country music. Support the artists that deserve it. You can make a difference. “Kick The Dust Up” is just another black eye on the face of country music.
Country music has gotten enough terrible music from all of the bro country artists invading the genre and now Sam Hunt is leading in a wave of spoken word pop music that is even worse. This is my first impression of Old Dominion and it isn’t a good one. Releasing a single like this early in your career shows me a lot of what you’re trying to accomplish as artists. It shows that you only care about popularity and quality is the last thing on your mind. “Break Up With Him” takes the worst elements of Hunt’s “Take Your Time” and the worst elements of Tyler Farr’s “Redneck Crazy” to make one of the most irritable country songs of 2015. I listened to this a few times and started to develop a light headache. That tells you what you need to know about “Break Up With Him.”
This song flat-out sucks in every single way. There is no point in having yet another bro country song about kissing. This is another perfect example of Nashville trying to shove shit down the country music consumers throat and tell them it’s candy. I hope country music listeners have learned their lesson and just ignore this terrible song. Some people in country music are trying to make strides and this song hurts those strides. “Kiss You In The Morning” will go down as one of the worst country songs of 2015 and will be a strong contender for Country Perspective’s Worst Song of 2015 award.
I just don’t understand why she continues to get pushed as an artist. It all started with Blake Shelton on The Voice and now Big Machine is pushing her. I just don’t see any talent in any area of her performances. The lyrics are weak, the instrumentation is weak and her voice is weak. I hate to say it, but it seems the only reason Big Machine even signed her is because of her looks and her willingness to sing any sexist, bubblegum pop country song they throw her way. Every time RaeLynn releases a new song I hope she proves me wrong, but she just doesn’t. “For A Boy” is simply another terrible song from RaeLynn and like every other RaeLynn song we’ve reviewed on here, I recommend avoiding it.
This uncreative garbage is getting pretty old. Then again I’m not surprised either. With the success of Sam Hunt, all of the other trend-chasing artists in the genre are going to try to follow suit in the way Hunt’s music is styled. Eli Young Band shows with this song they don’t give a crap about quality. It’s all about the money for them and they’ll churn out whatever they have to for radio success. You know why people hate sellouts? They hate sellouts because it’s easy. Making generic radio hits is easy to pull off. Making great music is difficult. It’s a true art form where you put your heart and soul into it. “Turn It On” is the opposite of heart and soul. It’s corporate, lifeless radio filler.
“Let Me See Ya Girl” is another boring and bland bro country song that the world didn’t need to hear. Swindell continues to be the most generic “country” singer I’ve ever heard. I’m so used to this terrible music that I can’t even get that angry anymore. I spend more time yawning and laughing. By the way the funniest part of the song is when Swindell utters in the bridge, “bring the beat back.” I can just picture Swindell wearing his baseball cap backwards and trying so hard to sound cool and sexy saying it. But Swindell can never be cool or sexy. He’s a merchandise peddler pretending to be a country artist. Avoid “Let Me See Ya Girl” at all costs. In fact avoid Swindell’s music at all costs.
Chris Janson without a doubt has a hit on his hands and it should do really nice on country radio throughout the summer. It appeals to the lowest common denomination of intelligence when it comes to listeners. Throw in the whole underdog story being pushed about Janson, his hunky look and he’s the perfect image of what labels want. Warner Nashville swooping him up was one of the most unsurprising news stories in country music this year. For the rest of us, “Buy Me A Boat” is a huge insult to our intelligence. It’s nothing more than a corporate jingle with laundry list lyrics. I definitely recommend avoiding this song. Janson may be pulling the wool over the mainstream country fans’ faces, but he isn’t fooling me. “Buy Me A Boat” is a long-plotted monstrosity wrote specifically to pander to country radio.
The cold, hard truth with “Crash and Burn” is this is just another attempt by country to hawk sounds from other genres in a desperate attempt to win back the temporary cross-over popularity it had with bro country. Don’t give me this crap about country music evolving. Changing the genre sound completely to the point where you can’t tell it’s country music anymore is not evolution. Artists like Rhett say it’s evolution because it’s the laziest and most brainless excuse you can trot out. Their fans and the corporate country outlets eat it right up too. When it comes down to it “Crash and Burn” is a song in the wrong genre performed by the wrong artist. Many will applaud this song for being different, but I jeer it for the poor excuse it is to make pop music and label it country. You should do the same too.
You know what these lyrics make me picture in my head? I imagine I’m in a bar and Chase Rice is sitting at the counter. Or Cole Swindell. Pick any bro-country artist you want. So they’re sitting there at the bar and Ballerini walks up to them uttering these lyrics. Then Rice flashes a douchey smirk at her and makes a condescending, sexist remark. Ballerini eats this up most likely. I’m sitting in the background rolling my eyes so hard they’re about to fall out. That’s the mental image I get when I hear these lyrics. This is not a good thing.
Keith Urban is capable of producing much better music than “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16.” Urban’s laziness and chasing of the almighty dollar is quite evident here. Urban knows exactly what he’s doing. This is a song from an artist that praises Sturgill Simpson and wore his shirt on national television. Simpson wouldn’t be caught dead cutting a song like this one. I thought Urban would be inspired by a truly talented artist like Simpson, but it’s apparent that Urban is only interested in listening to others make quality music and not try to do this himself. “John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16″ is absolute garbage and I highly recommend avoiding it. This is one of the worst songs I’ve heard in country music in 2015.
Hunter Hayes – “21”
The Dishonorable Mentions
- Dan + Shay – “Nothin’ Like You”
- Billy Currington – “Don’t It”
- Randy Houser – “We Went”
- Jake Owen – “Real Life”
- Brett Eldredge – “Lose My Mind”
- Thompson Square – “Trans Am”
- Canaan Smith – “Love You Like That”