I can’t recall the last time I’ve listened to an album and upon the very first listen getting more annoyed with each passing song. But this new surprise album from Eminem fits the bill. At 20 songs long and over an hour long, it’s an absolute pain in the ass to listen to this album. It’s not fun nor interesting. The themes on this album are so cringy, corny and off-putting that I could barely muster a few listens. Eminem’s Music To Be Murdered By is an album so terrible that I’m not really sure where to begin with all of the things I hate about it.
Keep in mind I enjoyed his previous album (which was also a surprise) Kamikaze. Perhaps I should also preface that maybe I’ve just reached a point where I’m just tired of Eminem and his schtick because he does things on this album that at this point in his career he’s already done a million times. He takes beating a dead horse to a new extreme. For example, songs like “Leaving Heaven” and “Stepdad.” Both songs see him complaining about his dad and stepdad respectively (the latter also features a horribly clunky and forced hook). And I understand that it must have been difficult to have such a rough upbringing. But Eminem has already done tons of songs about these issues. He says nothing new about these subjects that we haven’t already heard from him. Complaining about his family, critics and life in general feel like the only three topics he can rap about. There’s just no adapting or growth; he’s complaining about the same things at nearly 50 as he was in his 20s.
Then we get to the bars on this album. Now Eminem has always had issues creep up of dropping corny and just nonsensical bars that make no sense (see Revival). But this feels even worse at moments on this album. And again maybe this is just me reaching an age where Eminem’s humor and bars no longer appeal to me. But please tell me with a straight face that these are “fire” bars:
“Game ov-over, Thanos on you H-Os/On my petty shit but I don’t paint toes/Get the plunger ’cause Marshall and MA go plumb crazy/Call us Liquid Plumber ’cause even Dre know.”
And yes I’m well aware of the wordplay at the end with the Dre line, but it’s not clever. Why do I want to hear bars about toilets too? I could spend hundreds of words going over all the bad lyrics that plague this album, but I’m not in the mood for this painful exercise as listening to this album was enough of a chore. What makes these lyrics stand out even worse is having features from artists that never fail to deliver clever wordplay and lyrics like Black Thought, Royce da 5’9″ and Q-Tip.
But I haven’t even covered the worst thing about this album. The worst moment on this album is “Darkness,” a song that you think starts out as your typical song from Eminem about being depressed about fame. But then it reveals itself to be an exact recounting of the night of the Las Vegas shooter at the country festival, with Eminem imagining himself as the shooter. Now here’s why this song fails on so many levels: For one, it’s incredibly disturbing and tasteless (not to mention exploiting tragedy for profit). Secondly, Eminem fails to make any point with this song. He just does an exact recounting of the incident and then at the end raps some vague lyrics about gun control and clips of the media play. No point of substance is made. It feels shallow and tries way too hard to get across a message, even though it fails to do this while also failing to be a quality song.
This is my big problem with the political and message songs in general nowadays. Modern artists want to tell us and preach to us these messages, instead of focusing making a quality song that shows us the message. Messages are just so ham-fisted with no regard to the quality of the song and begs the questions of why someone would want to willing listen to a song like this. It’s also pretty hard to get a serious message across about shootings when throughout the rest of the album and in previous albums Eminem would make light of these incidents and casually drop references to them to craft “clever” wordplay. It comes off as fake, insincere and trying to have your cake while eating it too. And Eminem wonders why people don’t take his message songs seriously.
What’s even more bizarre is while parts of this album is Eminem being your woke Twitter friend, the other is him being a callous, edgy teenager who surfs the dark web all day and thinks dead baby jokes are hilarious. As I said before it makes it hard to take anything he raps about seriously on this album, but also makes for a weird and disorienting listen. It’s almost as if Eminem wants to keep his old crowd while also trying to desperately win over socially conscious young people. He bitches about the critics and some listeners not liking him and his music, yet he tries to win them over too. Eminem can’t pick a lane and make up his mind.
It’s not like this album is completely devoid of any quality, as the production is good to decent in most spots and there’s not a bad feature, as each of his features brought much needed quality to the table. “Godzilla” with the late Juice WRLD is a solid song that shows off Eminem’s impressive rapid delivery and both men contribute some great bars. I like the Alfred Hitchcock inspiration behind it too. But the lingering and large issues that permeate nearly every aspect of this album make it hard to appreciate what little this album gets right. I didn’t even get into him doing yet another bad song with Ed Sheeran or his awkward romantic relationship songs that he never pulls off. Music To Be Murdered By is way too long and sees Eminem indulging in his worst tendencies, making for an album that left me highly annoyed and having no desire to listen to it again.