Album Review – Florida Georgia Line’s ‘Dig Your Roots’

Florida Georgia Line Roots

Surprise! As you can see from the title, I decided to review something none of you were expecting: the new Florida Georgia Line album. For the past few months the site has moved away from negative reviews and started to focus solely on all of the great music that’s being produced. It wasn’t just because I felt we weren’t reviewing enough of great music. It was also because we were just sick of doing them and didn’t feel challenged and needed a break from it. But now I’m in the mood again to hand out a negative review now and then and what better to place to dive back in than Florida Georgia Line. Their last album Anything Goes won our inaugural Worst Album of the Year award in 2014. So I prepared myself for the worst with their new record Dig Your Roots, especially when I saw it was 15 songs long (my rule of thumb is no more than 12). While there is a fair share of bad music on this album, there’s actually a few positive things surprisingly.

The sound of crickets, frogs and a banjo play in “Smooth.” Something tells me this isn’t a sign of what’s to come on this album. Although I’m surprised the banjo continues throughout the song with some slightly heavy pop production. The song itself is about how smooth a girl is, from her body to her personality. For a song about a girl from Florida Georgia Line, there isn’t a lot of misogyny here. This is actually one of the better songs on the album, so I guess the start is smooth. That quickly changes though on the album’s title track, “Dig Your Roots.” We’re immediately hit with Brian Kelley rapping. Wonderful. The guy who never sings finally gets to say something and it’s terrible rapping. The song is about digging your roots, essentially appreciating family and where you’re from. An admirable theme, except the production is so damn annoying and overbearing it’s hard to hear the lyrics. This is the first of many moments on the album where Joey Moi completely ruins any chance of a song being good.

“Life Is A Honeymoon” takes a tacky Kenny Chesney direction, as Florida Georgia Line tackles beach music. For some reason this duo thinks they’re good at reggae, but they’re not. They did however have enough foresight actually bring someone onto the song who does. That would be Ziggy Marley, the son of reggae legend Bob Marley. If he did this song it might not have been half bad. But this is on a country album, not a reggae album. The album’s smash hit lead single “H.O.L.Y.” is next. As I explained in my original thoughts on this song in the Current Pulse of Mainstream Country Music, this song just has no edge. It’s vanilla, banal and a straight adult contemporary track. And I feel like all this song gets done doing is repeating the word “holy” over and over. It’s just so obnoxious. Then there’s the line about touching heaven and I couldn’t roll my eyes any harder.

The one that never sings gets his chance to shine again on “Island.” In fact Kelley gets to sing for the entire song and it’s actually not the only time it happens on this album. This song is about a man feeling like he’s on an island with his woman because she’s the world to him. As much as it pains me to say it, I enjoy this a little bit as a harmless pop song because it has a good hook and there’s some sentiment there. It could have been better if the writers of this song actually took more time to add depth to it though. The current and second single of the album “May We All” follows. I just covered this in the Pulse too, but I would actually like to present a different take on it. After giving it further listens and hearing it in the context of the album, I actually like it more (I probably shouldn’t have re-read Sturgill’s rant before reviewing it). The themes of the simple life and the lessons you can learn throughout them still aren’t creatively amazing, but they pull it off and McGraw’s presence really helps give the song a sense of legitimacy about it.

“Summerland” is the kind of garbage I’ve come to expect and hate from Florida Georgia Line. This vapid, shallow summer song is why people hate the duo. It has absolutely nothing to say and shamelessly forces lots of clichés and namedrops to satisfy the gullible demo of people who enjoy this music. It’s like a Pitbull song, only there’s no charisma whatsoever and the lyrics aren’t catchy. This song belongs in the garbage bin next to everything Chris Lane has ever released. The barrage of annoyance continues on “Lifer.” I don’t know where to start with this Sharknado mess of a song. The lyrics sound like something the Internet wrote. It’s not country, even if they jammed an out-of-place steel guitar into the chorus. I bet that was the last thing added in the song. I think my biggest problem with this song is when the duo utters they’re “a product of George Strait.” They also reference the great Strait song “Check Yes or No.” Words can’t properly describe my reaction to this, so I need some help from actor/Mongoloid Nicholas Cage. Take it away Nick:

Nic Cage laughing

The problems of “Summerland” show up again on “Good Girl, Bad Boy.” The lyrics are so awkwardly terrible, as the duo sings some dull, meaningless tune about the ultimate cliché of a good girl and bad boy dating each other. Riveting stuff! Are Danny and Sandy going to pop out and break into song and dance too? “Wish You Were On It” wishes it were edgy with its sudden stop and starts throughout. This is supposed to be a heartbreak song, but like Cole Swindell on his new album earlier this year that’s full of these types of songs, the lyrics do nothing to create a sense of heartbreak. The same can be said of the instrumentation, which is more upbeat than anything resembling sad. This song was defeated before it even began.

The most insulting song on Dig Your Roots might be “God, Your Mamma, And Me.” This is the much hyped collaboration between one of the current terrors of country music and one of the biggest headaches of 90s radio. This is the song with the Backstreet Boys. I did not miss these guys and they still annoy me. But you know as angering as it is that the Backstreet Boys are featured on a “country” album, this is probably the most honest admittance from Florida Georgia Line. They’re full of shit when they proclaim to be a product of Strait, but they’re absolutely the product of boy bands of the 90s. So I’ll give them credit for honesty on “H.O.L.Y. II: Electric Boogaloo.” The sleepy “Music Is Healing” is next. I say sleepy because you’ll immediately forget this song after you hear it. Set to a dance pop beat, this duo sings about how songs are healing. A sentiment I agree with, but Florida Georgia Line has no clue what it means to make music that is a therapeutic experience when 90% of their output is about partying and tailgate sex.

At a whopping 15 songs long, I expected this album to have one “Dirt” moment and it finally happens on “While He’s Still Around.” With Kelley on lead vocals, it’s about a son wanting to make the most of the time he has left with his father before he passes away one day. He hopes to have many more moments and make him a proud grandfather before the inevitable phone call comes saying his father is dead. The instrumentation consists mostly of acoustic guitar and a hint of steel guitar (Joey Moi actually restrained himself from ruining it). This is an honestly pretty good country song and I would say even better than “Dirt,” making this Florida Georgia Line’s best song ever. I’m keeping my fingers crossed this is a single. Also a fact about this song that might stun you is Chase Rice helped write it.

“Grow Old” follows and is yet another pretty good song from the duo. This time with Hubbard on lead vocals, the song is about a husband hoping to spend the rest of his life with his love and grow old together. The song even goes into detail about how the relationship isn’t going to perfect all the time and they’ll suffer through hardships like counting pennies and eating out of a microwave to get by. There’s even noticeable steel guitar. Despite the mess at times on this album, Florida Georgia Line can claim two pretty good country songs on it. Dig Your Roots finally comes to an end with “Heatwave.” What I said about “Summerland” above you can essentially repeat for this song. You think they would want to end the album with their two best songs, but instead they wanted to remind us of the crap they settle on to churn out.

Dig Your Roots is a pretty mediocre album, but is also the best Florida Georgia Line has released so far in their career. Their first two albums were pretty close to bottom of the barrel, so they had nowhere to go but up. It’s only a small improvement, but an improvement nonetheless. The two songs that stand out by far are “While He’s Still Around” and “Grow Old,” two of the best songs they’ve ever released. There are a few average/above average tracks, while the rest you can easily skip. The majority of the album is filled with the kind of crap we’ve come to expect from Florida Georgia Line. For their sake they’ve successfully evolved into a safe, adult contemporary sound that will save them from the fate of irrelevancy that many bro country acts are now facing. Surprisingly Dig Your Roots is not one of the worst country albums of the year, but Florida Georgia Line is still nowhere close to calling themselves good, let alone a legitimate country act.

Grade: 4/10

Pop Album Review – Keith Urban’s ‘Ripcord’

Remember last week in the Hodgepodge when I mentioned how releasing pop music to country radio makes you a liar? Well we already have our shining example of this for 2016 in the form of Keith Urban’s new album Ripcord. Let’s state up front for the record the obvious: this is not a country record and doing a country review of it is absolutely pointless. This is a straight pop album and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to get his or her hearing checked. I was going to just ignore this album and move along. But then I decided to do something a little bit different from the norm to shake things up. I’m going to give Ripcord a pop review. Yes, for this review it becomes Pop Perspective. I will treat this record like a pop one and review it through the lens of a pop reviewer. This is not a rant because I want to make a point with this review. So let’s take a look at Ripcord, track by track.

Gone Tomorrow (Here Today) – Some nice banjo play opens the song before giving way to synthesizers, drum machines and guitars. The song is going for a folktronica sound, but really it comes off as a half-baked attempt. The energy could be higher, from both Urban and the production. It’s trying to be this soaring dance song and it doesn’t go far enough. The song can’t fully commit because it’s trying to keep its foot in country.

John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 – I did a country review of this song already and looking at it as a pop song, I really don’t have much more to add. This song just lists a bunch of stuff and the viewer is expected to connect with it. The production is kind of catchy I guess.

Wasted Time – Another one I already reviewed through the country lens, which it purports to be. It’s really a pop/dance tune that relies on nostalgia. The beat is catchy, fun and easy to get stuck in your head. As a mindless, summer song it works. Listen closely though and there isn’t much meat in the lyrics. It’s also really kind of pathetic to refer to wasted time as a golden time in your life.

Habit of You – Urban spends this song singing about having sex with his girl all night. It should come off as romantic, when really it’s just boring and dry to my ears. Urban is trying to emulate Sam Hunt here and it doesn’t work. Urban just doesn’t do sexy. I would put this song in the same vein as Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor’s “Marvin Gaye.”

Sun Don’t Let Me Down – Pitbull and Nile Rodgers collaborate with Urban on this funky, dance tune. Once you get past the pointless inclusion of Pitbull, this song is actually kind of fun. By the way, I’ve never heard a song that was enhanced by adding Pitbull. Sure he’s harmless fun, but again what’s the point? Rodgers on the other hand really helps make this song fun with his funky guitar licks throughout. Many people forget he’s one of the reasons Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” became such a big hit a few years ago. I could definitely see this being a hit at pop radio too.

Gettin’ In The Way – This is another song on the album where I’m just bored. Nothing about this song sucks me in and it starts to get old when pretty much every song is trying to be about some sultry, romantic rendezvous. Urban is just not believable in this role.

Blue Ain’t Your Color – Now Urban is at the bar and trying to pick up some heartbroken woman. Looking upon the surface it seems like Urban is trying to cheer up the girl. But I know exactly what he’s doing: he’s trying to slide right into her pants with sweet talk. Just like Sam Hunt’s sleazy “Take Your Time,” this song is thinly veiled douchebaggery at it’s finest. Not a really good look for you, Keith.

The Fighter – Here’s another collaboration on this album and this time Urban is joined by Carrie Underwood. Upon first listen you think you finally hear a dance song from Urban with energy to it. But upon more listens I’m just kind of bored. Underwood’s vocal performance isn’t the best and once again Urban is playing an unbelievable role, this time the man being the fighter for a woman after she’s had her heart-broken and mistreated. If you buy Urban as the knight in shining armor riding in, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I would like to sell you.

Break On Me – This song bores me to tears. And yeah I reviewed this one already too because Urban bizarrely released three singles before the album. Moving on…

Boy Gets A Truck – Urban tries to get cute on this song by starting each line in the chorus with the ending word of the previous line. It comes off as really cheesy and forced. The subject matter doesn’t really pique my interest either. How many hookup songs do we need?

Your Body – This song makes me imagine Urban and some girl 20 years younger than him getting naked together. Gross. This is not the kind of image any artist should strive for in their music. Aren’t you married, Keith? The lyrics are so perversely detailed that I just want no part of this song.

That Could Still Be Us – Urban ponders the love he has lost on this song. I still can’t stop thinking about Urban singing about his skin touching her skin and how it makes him feel like he’s in heaven on “Your Body.” So forgive me that I can’t take this serious ballad…seriously. But in all seriousness this song is kind of lame.

Worry ‘Bout Nothin’ – Finally the last song on this album. The production is way overdone on this one and Urban’s voice is clearly being modified throughout. I guess it’s supposed to help him sound…yeah I got nothing. The best thing about this song is it’s the final one of the album.

I told you reviewing this as a country record is pointless. There wasn’t much more use in reviewing it as a pop record, except for a few remarks. As you can tell, no matter which genre you stick Ripcord in, it’s a terrible album. This album felt like a to-do list of stuff Urban wanted to try because he felt like it and there was absolutely no direction planned for it. Some of it sticks like on “Wasted Time” and “Sun Don’t Let Me Down.” The rest however is pretty much a complete mess. I hear so much from country fans that an artist’s songs aren’t bad as pop music if I dismiss it as not country music. So the overall point I wanted to make with this review was to show that genre lines really don’t matter the most when it comes to judging music’s quality. Many refer to bad country music as pop and that’s insult to pop music because there’s a lot of great pop music (see Beyoncé’s Lemonade). This album even insults pop. It’s pretty simple: there is great music and there is bad music. Ripcord is bad music.

Pop Grade: 3/10

Jerrod Niemann Appears to be Finished at Sony Music Nashville

Two years after releasing the infamous “Donkey” as a single to country radio, Jerrod Niemann appears finished at Sony Music Nashville. Niemann has become irrelevant at country radio ever since “Donkey” was a huge flop at radio and commercially. Many Niemann fans have been fearful that his spot at major label Arista Nashville was in jeopardy and now it appears he is no longer on the label. Suspicion first came up when he recently released a new single “Yellow Brick Road,” an old song that was on a record of the same name he released in 2013 under the label Aria Tree Records. The song was written in 2006 by Niemann, Billy Joe Walker and Ray Termini.

Sony Music Nashville, which Arista Nashville is an imprint under, has yet to publicly announce anything or issue any official statements regarding the status of Niemann. Nothing has been announced from Niemann himself either. He is also still listed on Sony Music Nashville’s official site as an artist. Country Perspective has reached out to Sony Music Nashville and has yet to receive a response. If we do receive official word or something is announced, this story will be updated.

In the meantime we can only speculate. If this is indeed true, it is not a big surprise at all. Niemann’s latest single “Blue Bandanna” failed to crack the top thirty at country radio, despite being a return to his original sound. Niemann’s reputation and appeal has been tainted ever since he released the aforementioned “Donkey” to country radio. It was the follow-up to his smash EDM-laden hit “Drink To That All Night,” which reached #1 on the country chart and #34 on the Billboard Hot 100. It was easily the biggest hit of Niemann’s career and the first country song to be heavily influenced by EDM to have big success. However, many country fans saw it as a “sell out” move by Niemann and a betrayal of his original sound. Niemann of course defended the song fervently in interviews.

But this was just the beginning of the end for Niemann, as him and label quickly put out a remix of the song featuring Pitbull, which I thoroughly tore apart. It did pretty much nothing on the charts, as Niemann and company hoped to replicate the success Florida Georgia Line saw when they remixed “Cruise” with Nelly and shot to superstardom. In a panic move, Arista Nashville decided to follow this up with “Donkey.” It relied on EDM even more heavily and the lyrics were at best childish and stupid. For those unaware or don’t remember, it won Country Perspective’s 2014 Worst Song of the Year award. Derek rightly gave this song the thrashing it deserved:

Why, you may ask, is it so bad? Well to start, Niemann’s voice here is way too distorted to make anyone believe it came from an actual human. This distorted robot provides us with an awful spoken-word rap about wrecking his truck and being left penniless. So in order to get to the party in town, Niemann hops on his trusty steed to ride him in. Just read the lyrics to the chorus. “Gonna ride that donkey donkey, down to the honky tonky, it’s gonna get funky funky.” I can’t believe that anyone with a pulse could actually think that these lyrics were worthy to be heard, let alone even put on paper. I have to imagine that everyone from the writers to the producers, even Niemann himself, were drunk through the entire process of creating this poor excuse for music. That’s the only possible explanation that I could accept for this song.

I myself remember remarking on numerous occasions how this single is probably the death nail of Niemann’s mainstream country career and may never recover. While bro country fans’ standards may be low, even they rejected this poor excuse of a song. I hate to say I told you so, but I did. And I’m not taking pleasure in seeing Niemann’s career bomb. It’s never good to see someone lose a job or a contract. No, this is just a simple reminder to any artist who is thinking of selling out or betraying their core fans what happens when you listen to a label executive. While selling out may get you fame and fortune in the short run, it will probably come back to bite you in the ass in the long run.

(By the way I would post the music video, but they took it down. I guess they realized how stupid it looked.)

The Hodgepodge: Is Pop Radio Better Than Country Radio Right Now?

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A look at the current state of country radio and really mainstream country music in general.

Yesterday in this week’s current pulse of mainstream country music, I was pretty frustrated and exasperated with country radio. The reasons being of course is that nothing new is being tried by country radio and the songs with substance are getting harder to find. They’re simply rehashing the same old crap. Case in point: Jason Aldean’s new single “Tonight Looks Good On You” is surging and will undoubtedly reach #1 on the chart. It’s just another version of Aldean’s 2014 hit “Burnin’ It Down.” On top of that it’s a Dallas Davidson song. I mean come on! I thought country radio had moved passed Davidson’s bullshit, but apparently not.

So as I normally do when I get frustrated with terrible music, I go listen to music I enjoy. As I sat and listened to Hozier’s excellent 2014 debut album, an idea came to me for this week’s Hodgepodge. Why not take a look at pop radio and compare it to country radio? It’s a perfect time to do so when many country stations across the nation are playing blatant pop music. When Kanye West and Ed Sheeran are getting airplay on country radio, you know shit has hit the fan and country stations have run out of answers. So to conduct this comparison, we’ll take a look at the top 20 on the Billboard Top Pop Songs chart from last week and compare it to the top 20 on the Billboard Country Airplay chart from last week. The same exact rules will apply to this as the current pulse that runs every week.

The -3 score on last week’s pulse will not be used, since it’s the cumulative score of the top 30. Only the pulse of the top 20 will be used. By taking away the bottom ten songs, the pulse of the top 20 is 0. That will be the score we use to compare to the pop chart. Today you will get to see the very rare occurrence of yours truly evaluating pop music. See what you’ve done to me country radio? So without further ado let’s take a look at the Top Pop Chart:

  1. Taylor Swift – “Style” 0
  2. Maroon 5 – “Sugar” 0
  3. Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud” +1 (Sheeran is awesome)
  4. Bruno Mars & Mark Ronson – “Uptown Funk” +1 (This song is great, despite being overplayed)
  5. Pitbull & Ne-Yo – “Time of Our Lives” -1 (Pitbull sucks no matter what genre he is in)
  6. Ellie Goulding – “Love Me Like You Do” -1 (A terrible Fifty Shades of Grey song)
  7. Kanye West, Rihanna & Paul McCartney – “FourFiveSeconds” 0
  8. Natalie La Rose & Jeremih – “Somebody” -1
  9. Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding – “Outside” 0
  10. Ariana Grande – “One Last Time” -1
  11. Nick Jonas – “Chains” +1 (I’m surprised I liked this)
  12. Zedd & Selena Gomez – “I Want You To Know” +1
  13. Taylor Swift – “Blank Space” -1
  14. One Direction – “Night Changes” -1
  15. Lillywood & Robin Schulz – “Prayer In C” 0
  16. Flo Rida, Sage The Gemini & Lookas – “G.D.F.R.” -1 (Flo Rida is the Toby Keith of pop music. He just keeps hanging on.)
  17. Jason DeRulo – “Want To Want Me” -1
  18. The Weeknd – “Earned It” -1 (Another terrible Fifty Shades of Grey song)
  19. Usher & Juicy J – “I Dont Mind” -1 
  20. Tori Kelly – “Nobody Love”

So the total current pulse of pop music is -8. Wow! It’s even worse than country radio! Yet country radio is borrowing from it. It shouldn’t be borrowing period from pop music, whether it’s better or worse. Still country radio is borrowing from a genre that is even worse. There are genre lines for a reason. The only common denominator between both groups of songs is the club theme. You can thank Sam Hunt for bringing this into country music. Music about going to the club is just plain dumb and it’s why people laugh at artists like Pitbull and Flo Rida. I will say though I would take pop’s club music over country’s club music.

After this not very surprising revelation, I think I can safely say that all of radio is nothing but a vast wasteland of garbage songs. Country radio isn’t the only one lacking substance. However it’s imperative if I point out the big different between both. Country radio and pop radio historically have been viewed completely different by listeners. Pop radio is a mix of several different genres all in one place for casual listeners to hear. Upbeat, fun, party songs are the norm for pop and everyone pretty much knows this. You don’t hear a lot of songs that you would consider classics get on pop radio today, save for the likes of Adele and Hozier maybe. In years past you had icons like Michael Jackson dominating pop, but I don’t see any singers like Jackson on the horizon.

Country radio on the other hand was always viewed by people as a place to go for songs about life, love and other themes that explore deeper meaning. It was the genre of substance. You could hear a song like Vince Gill’s “Go Rest High On That Mountain” and be brought to tears. George Strait’s “Give It Away” or Garth Brooks’ “The Dance” connected with anyone out there whoever had their heart-broken. Go back a little over ten years and you could hear a song on country radio like Josh Turner’s “Long Black Train” that had a great message to anyone of any age. These are the kind of songs that made country music what it was. It was what made you and me fans of country music.

Now an entire generation views country music as a laughing-stock full of songs about drinking, debauchery and partying. That respect country music once held in popular culture has eroded away. People turn on country radio and don’t even recognize the genre. Some people don’t even turn on the radio. Sure there is plenty of great independent country music out there and sites like this help spread the word of it. But why would people seek it out? After what they hear on country radio, it makes them run away from the genre. They’ve got such a sour taste from country radio that they won’t even try the good country music. Country music fans need something to believe in and hear to reaffirm their faith in the genre. Will we get that before it’s too late? For the sake of country music, I hope so.

Upcoming/Recent Country Music Releases

  • Will Hoge will come out with his new album Small Town Dreams next Tuesday. A couple of months ago we got a taste of what’s to come on the album and based on that I’m expecting this to be a good one. Derek will be reviewing this one, as Hoge is one of his favorites.
  • Kristian Bush’s debut solo album Southern Gravity will also be released next Tuesday. The lead single “Trailer Hitch” was a surprisingly good song, so it’ll be interesting to hear what the rest of the album sounds like and whether the sound of Sugarland is evident at all.
  • The third notable release next week and the biggest in the independent realm is Pokey LaFarge’s Something In The Water. This could quietly be one of the best releases in April.
  • On Monday, Jason Isbell tweeted: “New new album is done and mastered.” So maybe we’ll get this sooner than July? I certainly hope so. We should at least hear the first single from it very soon.

Throwback Thursday Song

George Jones – “Who’s Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” – You know how I was saying up above about how country music was the genre about life and connecting with everyday people? This song articulates that point perfectly. And it’s a song many country fans wonder today.

Non-Country Song of the Week

AC/DC – “Shoot To Thrill” – This is one of my all-time favorite AC/DC songs. The high notes blow me away every time.

Tweet of the Week

Anti-Bobby Bones tweets are always great. He’s another problem hurting country music, but that’s another post for another day.

Two iTunes Reviews That Will Make You Face Palm

Stupid EYB Comment 2

 

Stupid EYB Comment 3

 

I’ve been sitting on these gems for a couple of weeks. These were under Eli Young Band’s new EP Turn It On. The first one justifies this terrible EP by saying everyone’s going pop in country, so it’s fine. The other says it’s fine because they wrote all four songs. Here’s an easy way to determine whether or not a song or group of songs suck: people having to list reasons to justify why it’s good. People making excuses for it. A great song speaks volumes on its own merit and doesn’t need to be explained why it’s good.

That’s it for the Hodgepodge this week! Be sure to sound off in the comments! 

Country Perspective’s Worst Country Album of 2014 Goes to…

Country music in 2014 saw some highs and lows. Here at Country Perspective we recognize the best of both. Today we focus on the later. What was the worst country album in 2014? Well there was a lot of bad country albums put out this year. Jerrod Niemann’s High Noon was the early favorite in 2014. After all it included auto-tune and electronic beats. It didn’t sound like country music at all. He then remixed “Drink to That All Night” with Pitbull. That wasn’t even the worst of the album. The worst was “Donkey,” one of the worst songs I have ever heard.

Surely nothing could top this pile of crap, right? Wrong! Along came Chase Rice’s Ignite The Night. Other than one giant outlier at the end of the album in “Jack Daniels and Jesus,” this album was straight garbage. I think my asshole could write and sing better music than the rest of Ignite the Night. The amount of auto-tune and EDM incorporated is so gut-wrenchingly bad I’m surprised Waylon Jennings didn’t come back from the dead to just slap Rice in the face.

Yet as terrible as this album was another album went even lower than Rice’s. No it isn’t Sam Hunt’s Montevallo either. It’s a straight pop album, yet Hunt did enough to not garner a 0 in Derek’s eyes or my eyes (shockingly I might add). There was one album that did earn a 0 overall and to this day it’s the only album to receive a 0 on Country Perspective. After listening to this album, I thought…. wait words can’t describe it. I’m going to need some help here. Jeff could you assist me here? Here were my thoughts after listening to this album:

pile_of_shit

Thanks Jeff! Keep up the fine work. What album am I referring to? The winner of Country Perspective’s Worst Country Album of 2014 Award is…

Derek and myself chose this album to win because quite frankly it’s offensive in every single way a country album can be offensive. Other than “Dirt,” every song on this album sucks. The songs don’t sound country at all and sound more suitable for a pop album. The lyrics are so horrendously offensive to intelligence that I felt like I lost a few IQ points after listening to Anything Goes. Their worst song, “Sun Daze,” was nominated for our worst song of the year award and is quite a strong contender. The thing is we could have chosen another song easily and it would still be a top contender to win. When the lyrics weren’t sexist and misogynistic, they were just outright cheesy and cliché. Take for example “Angel.” They use the cheesiest pickup line ever as the chorus. So hilariously dumb! And I don’t know how many alcohol brands are name-dropped.

You know what else is terrible about this album? How everyone at the mainstream country outlets and people in the mainstream industry just accept this as an “evolution” of country music. They’re missing a letter. Devolution is the proper word. How in any way, shape or form is this helping the genre? It’s just maintaining the status quo of country music being a laughing-stock to anyone outside of the genre. I don’t know how many people laugh off and dismiss country music because of asshats like Florida Georgia Line putting out terrible music. Casual observers judge country music based on what they hear on the radio and what they hear on radio is garbage.

Mainstream country music appears to be improving for the most part. That’s a good sign. There are still a lot of problems though and Florida Georgia Line represents one of the biggest. Bro country is slowly dying, but I guarantee Florida Georgia Line and other bro country artists will fight to the bitter end to keep it alive. In the end though it is a fruitless endeavor. Bro country will be gone in 2015 and so might Florida Georgia Line’s stardom.

So stand up with me and boo Florida Georgia Line’s album Anything Goes. This is a historically bad country album that may never be topped by another album in horribleness ever again.