Country Perspective’s 2014 Worst Country Song of the Year Nominees

 

As 2014 comes to a close, Country Perspective will be handing out a number of awards to the artists, songs, and albums we covered over the year. We’ll be crowning the best of the best and the worst of the worst. While there was a lot of good in country music this year, we were also subjected to a lot of bad songs in 2014. Some artists had a single or two that made us cringe, while others released albums full of terrible songs. We have an extensive list of worst song nominees, but I will highlight five I believe are the true worst of the worst.

From Lady Antebellum’s “Bartender” to Little Big Town’s “Day Drinking” our male-female groups sold out for airplay. We had bro-country galore with “Where It’s At (Yep Yep)”, “Beachin”, “Yeah” by Joe Nichols, Dylan Scott’s “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm”, Lee Brice’s “Girls in Bikinis” and two Cole Swindell number ones. Then we had guys like Chase Rice, Florida Georgia Line, and Sam Hunt release albums with nothing but terrible country songs (save for Rice’s “Jack Daniels and Jesus” and FGL’s “Dirt,” both of which were diamonds in the rough). Let’s not forget Florida Georgia Line’s collaboration with Luke Bryan in “This Is How We Roll.” Brantley Gilbert had some bad hits with “Bottoms Up” and “Small Town Throwdown,” and Blake Shelton’s new album had an ultra dud duet with RaeLynn called “Buzzin’.” Throw in Darius Rucker’s “Homegrown Honey” and Toby Keith’s “Drunk Americans” and we have a long list of bad music to consider for this award (and I haven’t even given you the bottom of the barrel yet).

Awards will be handed out in mid-late December. Josh and I will deliberate and reach the final decisions together, but we will also take reader input into consideration. So if you have a strong opinion about a song listed here, or about a song we may have forgotten, feel free to comment below and let us know. Who knows, you may sway the vote!

 

Without further ado, here are my six worst songs from 2014 (some language ahead):

  • Burnin’ It Down” by Jason Aldean – This song isn’t country by any means. It’s just an auto tuned, computerized mess of R&B and pop. Aldean doesn’t take any risk to at least give this an authentic slow-jam feel. “Burnin’ It Down” is just a lazy, monotone, cry for attention.
  • God Made Girls” by RaeLynn – The song that made the heads of feminists everywhere explode. Was this song written by a 5-year-old? As my fiancé said “we wonder why women are underrepresented in modern country music, then they come out with this shit.” What a terrible song.
  • Donkey” by Jerrod Niemann – If you haven’t listened to it yet, here’s a link to it. You’ll understand in about 45 seconds why it’s terrible. If you want to save yourself from ripping your ears off in disgust, then don’t listen to it and just trust me that it sucks.
  • Girl in Your Truck Song” by Maggie Rose – This might be an actual case of Stockholm syndrome. Bro-country has been around so long, that we might as well just sing a song about being that girl. And not to mention, this songwriting is just plain lazy. At least Maddie & Tae turned those bro-lyrics around and threw back at the guys. There’s no cleverness in this attempt by Rose.
  • Lookin’ For That Girl” by Tim McGraw – If you’ve read my reviews of some of the mainstream albums released this year, you know I can’t stand auto tune in country music. And this song is full of Tim McGraw’s awful sounding robotic voice. And with the rest of Sundown Heaven Town being actual country music, it almost makes this song even worse by comparison.
  • Sun Daze” by Florida Georgia Line – A song so pandering, so trying to include every possible demographic that it ends up being an awful, dumb, mess of a song. There’s no continuity: Tyler opens up singing about wearing flip-flops for the country and beach lovers, but then in chorus he sings about lacing his J’s for the hip hop and urban crowd. Then the awful sexual innuendos and shameless name-dropping come in to play. There’s just too much here to sufficiently summarize what makes it bad.

That’s the worst of the worst. Please share your thoughts and help us decide what to crown as the worst country song of 2014.  Any song I talked about in the article is up for consideration, and many of them have a legitimate case to be awarded this oh-so distinctive honor! If you haven’t already, check out the rest of our nominations for our awards: best male and female singers, best duo or group, best and worst albums, and best song of 2014.